Original Works

Here I will post many heartbreaking works, as well as little happy ones. These are my poems, my songs, and my thoughts all jumbled on one wonderful page. Enjoy!

———

I was right. 

I am not happy to say I was right. 

But I was. 

All men are the same. 

In fact, the only difference is their name. 

They all grab wrists and storm away. 

They yell and scream if they don’t get their way. 

They like being right and love being strong. 

And if you mess up, you’d better admit you were wrong. 

They all lie, cheat, and steal. 

The good men in movies, sadly, just are not real. 

Yes I was right, all men are the same. 

But it’s my fault, they are not all to blame. 

I put up a fight and am always a trouble. 

Besides, I shouldn’t be so gullible. 

He may love me now but what about ahead? 

In a month or two, he’ll regret what he said. 

He’ll change his mind, he’ll have a different thought. 

God knows he’ll dread getting caught.

Soon he’ll be gone and I will be alone. 

Once again, the truth about men have been shown. 

All men suck, they are all the same. 

I fear all men, oh what a shame. 

--------
So you finally regret what you've done?
That's fair.
Ya know, I was getting a little worried there.
I thought maybe you believed this was all normal. 
It's good to see you know torture is not moral. 
The yelling, the hitting, you never quit.
My naked body was the kerosene to the fire you lit.
Enraged by my beauty, oh what a pity.
You never did deserve something so pretty.
Tracing my bones with daggers of hate.
You watch me cry while you masturbate.
Your voice loud and fists clenched.
My skin pale and your fingers drenched. 
You did as you pleased and I had no say.
And when you're friends came around, it'd be a bad day.
Strip me down and turn me around. 
Don't make a noise, don't make a sound.
The whips, the toys, and the chains.
I had to be silent through all the pains. 
If I made a noise, there'd be hell to pay.
You'd grab my wrists and have your way.
Your friends would watch with cameras and grins.
Then they'd fetch a towel to cover their sins.
I remember everything as the scars don't fade.
I remember the fire, the weapons, and the blades.
I remember all the hours that I've cried.
But hey, it's nice to see you've apologized. 

The One with You and I

I lay here in my empty bed. Thoughts of your lips rushing through my head. All I have of you is an old photograph. But the conditions it's endured has nearly torn you in half. I kept you too close, I kept you too long. Cause now both you and your picture seem to be gone. Your miles away, miles apart. And as these days go by, you're still in my heart. I try to forget you, but all I can do is remember. Your love is fire and I can still feel the embers. I tried putting you out, but tears don't work at all. It's taking all I've got not to pick up the phone and call. You said "Stay away, for your safety, not mine.". You cut me off and drew an imaginary line. You think if there were a "we", it'd hurt me. But now that you're gone, the tears make it impossible to see. You think you saved me but you're so wrong. You really pulled my heart out from the inside and turned me into a sad song. You feel so distant, I can't get you back and that's set. But that doesn't mean I have to let go just yet. I'll hold on to this photograph, the one with you and I. Every time I see your smile, I still can't help but cry. We looked so happy, what happened to us? Our beautiful relationship was buried in the dust. I don't expect you to come back, you're long gone after all. But that doesn't mean I won't check for your texts... Or wait for your calls. 

------

I spoke to you again last night.

It’s been so long but it felt so right.

It took me 16 months to get over you.

You’ll say it was fake but our love was true.

I’m with someone else now.

I moved on but still don’t know how.

I remember that night, screaming and crying.

You said you didn’t love me anymore, how I wish you were lying.

I was only 16, too young for this stuff.

By 17, I felt I had enough.

That’s the saddest I’ve ever been.

But you made me the happiest back then.

I know it’s not fair to my new boy to think about you.

But, I still wonder if you think about me too.

We had the best story of love.

I just couldn’t get enough.

I miss you still.

I don’t want you though, I never again will. 

You yelled and you hit.

You shook and you spit.

I was your girlfriend but “no” still meant “no”.

I know you had to go.

You lied and you cheated.

Fists swung as conversation got heated.

But I loved you, God, why?

Maybe because you were my first love, my first guy.

I learned so young.

Shut your mouth and hold your tongue.

Sometimes I won but many times I lost.

You said “Know, that I am the boss.”.

You scared me, but you loved me.

So, I always let it be.

8 months in is when I should’ve called it quits.

9 months in, it was more than just hits.

You broke me, I never had a choice,

You silenced me, I didn’t have a voice. 

The words that I write now are true.

But, I actually still love you. 

Without Me

What would this world look like without me?

It would go on, like abc, like 123.

Those who bleed will still bleed.

Some will fail, others will succeed.

People will close their eyes before they see the dark.

People will open them and leave their mark.

They will help, they will heal.

They will break, they will steal.

The world is up, but also down.

Words will scream and they will drown.

I am but a star in a sky of trillions.

I will go out, just like millions.

I will watch my brothers cry for the first time.

I will watch my dad tell my mom it'll be fine.

But it will be okay, time will heal too.

Oh God, if only I knew.

People won, but I have lost.

The warmth never broke through the icy frost.

I never got the chance, some will say I got to choose.

But no, minds work differently when you have nothing to lose.

The world, they will never know my name.

I was not special, rich, I had no fame.

I am nothing in this world, little will cry.

I am just another statistic of suicide. 

Apartment 434
You felt like home when we first walked through that door.
It was fun, at first anyway.
But just a month in and things began to stray.
We met the neighbors and the locals and we aren't impressed.
The halls smell and residential services aren't the best.
I wanna go back to mom and dad.
But things there are just as sad.
It's a broken home and things have split.
Now I'm on my own and I'm only just a kid.

She's Hungry
She craves the souls who count their calories and hurt their bodies too.
She watches as you stare in the mirror mounted on the wall.
She's everything you want, thin, pretty, and tall.
She's the poster girl of those you see on thinspo.
She's death, and her heads hangs low.
She greets you, you're ready to go.
She's the illness social media pressed and urged.
She's the one who first showed you how to purge.
She's the reason you get made fun of at school.
You're on your deathbed and whisper "But she said it was cool.".

Engaged?

Engaged.

Engaged?

Surely, you’re joking, for I am only 18.

Commitment?

What the fuck is that?

No, no, no.

I find it more fun to use this hand with this ring on it to touch other guys.

Guys who are kind.

Guys who are genuine.

Who are the definition of love.

Guys who are my big brothers’ closest friends.

Guys like him.

And everytime you go to work, he comes over and I slip this “engagement ring” off my
pretty little hand and love him like I use to love you.

Before you changed, that is.

Before you began to treat me the way bad men treat their sad wives.

You have no idea but I’m running out of time.

I’d rather die than have to humiliate myself by breaking up with you.

I’m suppose to be the poster military wife, right?

You can’t be serious. I don’t even love you lol.

It’s been 4 lousy years of regretting everything you’ve put me through.

How can you protect this country if you can’t even protect your fucking “fiance”.

He's different.

But it’s funny, I spend a lot of my time telling you how he’s “just a friend” but why?

Do I care if we break up?

I think I care more that I’d have to start paying rent on my own if you moved out.

But him.

Him.

You’ll never know but I think about him every night while I lay next to you in our bed.

Our bed, the bed I took other guys into.

Am I bad?

Maybe.

But you know what’s worse?

A rapist.

An abusive partner.

A liar.

Lazy and immature.

Maybe I’m a few of these things too?

Maybe I’ll kill myself and you’ll never know the truth?

Or maybe I’ll give up on you and go to what makes me happy?

Or maybe… I’ll let you think I love you a bit longer so then I can do what you do to me?

I’m unsure right now, but maybe next time you find me bleeding in the bathtub…
don’t threaten to leave and tell me how I’m such a shitty person and deserve to die.

Okay?

You do that for me and maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop whispering his name all hours
of the night while you sleep soundly, clueless, fucking stupid.

------

I like you, I really do.

But I love him, more than you.

I like your easy blue eyes.

But I love how his look like majestic skies.

The way you hug me is okay.

But the way he holds me makes me want to stay.

I like the way you kiss me, it’s nice.

But the way he kisses me will always suffice.

I do like you, just not the way you yell.

I do love him, for he loves me, I can tell.

I don’t have to second guess it, I don’t have to feel insecure.

You planted this disease and he is my only cure.


-----

I stood on the edge of this bridge,

Ready to jump.

I looked to you,

Hoping you’d try to stop me.

You looked at me,

You sighed.

You were tired of trying to help me,

I guess I understand.

But by the time you took a single step forward,

I was already plummeting towards the ground.

You’ve been relieved, my dear.

Live on.

----- 

Hello.

I’ve met someone new.

I am unsure what to do.

I love him, but I am suppose to love you.

I’d never want to break your heart, but what about mine?

You’ve known something was up for awhile, but I always said it was fine.

But it’s not, I’m stuck, lost, and scared.

Maybe things would be different if you proved you actually cared.

I don’t want to leave, not after what we’ve been through.

But I am marrying the wrong man, I do not know what to do.

I’d rather die than go through this conflict.

You’re so great, but he’s so perfect.

I’ve made up my mind on the next move.

This will be hard as my family would disapprove.

Call of the engagement, call off the wedding.

If you need me, you’ll know where I’m heading.

Goodbye.

Please Ask

Silly little girl

Don’t fool yourself

They’ve seen your scars

Just don’t want to help

Little do they know how much could change

With three little words

“Are you okay?”

Broken

My mind is weeds and I can't sleep.

I got to find someone who can help me.

It's a scary feeling when you've convinced yourself you're not human per say.But it's just not humane to feel this way.I want to scream, I want to cry "Let me be done!".But I can only lay here feeling lifeless and numb.No teacher, no counselor, no therapist can fix my troubled head. All I can do is pray to be dead. "You're too pretty to be sad." I was once told.But my mind is hideous and my heart is cold.Lord, help my helpless pain be spoken. Let the world know that I am hopelessly broken.